I hear Burlington has a new motto: Burlington, the West Coast of New England. I hear whomever is in charge of hiring a group to think up the new motto hired an out-of-state company and paid them 30K to think it up. Burlington, The West Coast of New England. Dont you think it would have been cheaper to post a note asking us folks who live here and whove been hanging around Burlington most of our lives to come up with the motto? I do. Isnt there another marketing slogan here in Vermont that promotes buying Vermont? I think the motto is, Buy Vermont. Apparently the folks who hired the out-of-state company didnt hire the same company who thought up the Buy Vermont motto. Or maybe they did, maybe the, Buy Vermont, motto was thought up by an out-of-state firm too. I doubt it, but it would be funny if it was wouldnt it?
I believe in the Buy Vermont, concept, but I also think that if theres a better product made out of state, it shouldnt be counted out as buy-worthy. I do think for sure some local company or even just a local dude or gal off the street could have come up with a better slogan for Burlington. As long as they were throwing money around I woulda thunk them up a goodn for $28,750.00.
You might ask why a city needs a motto in the first place. Well, a motto is used to attract people to the city its mottoing. If thats true, then I think, Burlington, the West Coast of New England, sucks as a motto.
Why, if you are trying to attract people to Burlington, VT, would you use the words west coast within the motto? Thats like trying to get your girlfriend to get frisky with you by showing her a picture of Brad Pitt.
Besides, saying Burlington is like the west coast is a lie if you ask me. Are west coast cars full of rust? Does the west coast have ice storms? Does the west coast have deerflies? Not comparable to good ole Burlington, VT, it doesnt. In turn, does Burlington have the ocean? Ha, no way, man! It has North Beach. Its funny to think of some west coast sun-and-sand worshippers hearing about Burlington being west-coast-like, then coming here to tan on North Beach in their thong swimsuits and getting good-sized rocks stuck in their plumbers crack. With that in mind maybe a better motto would be, Burlington, 2.8 miles of beachCome stand near it.
We here in Vermont are all puffed up with ourselves, all proud and all, and always wanting to say were leaders in this and that, like with stuff about saving the environment, and being open and liberal minded with our politics, and we have Jim Jeffords who broke camp on the strength of his independence and Howard Dean who blazed a trail signing the Civil Union deal. And we support independent workers whether they be farmers, bakers, or candlestick makers, and were always boasting about how were still standing strong on principals and morals instead of letting ourselves be swayed by the media and our close-minded government. Were grateful and blessed to be thought of as independent-minded strong willed people who stand on our own, whether its the popular thing to do or not, and above all were happy with who we are. Thats all good stuff, so why when it comes to telling the world about our largest city do we publish a line that says were like someplace else?
Im not busting on the company who thought up the motto, because Im sure they put a ton of time and energy into getting the exact right set of words to go together. And Im sure they for sure think theyve written whats best for our Queen City. And Im pretty sure they handed a handful of mottos to whom ever picked the winner, so maybe its not even the motto companies fault. In fact there is no fault in this case because I cant say the motto isnt going to be effective, because maybe it will. All Im saying is Ida never picked it. Nope, no way. I dont think its accurate.
I consider myself very fortunate to live in Elmore. Elmore is a small town that still maintains the old-fashioned small-town feel. Elmores kids go to kindergarten through sixth-grade in the same small schoolhouse for one thing, and another cool thing is its motto: Elmore - Beauty Spot of Vermont. Now thats a kick butt motto. Its simple, clean, and to the point. (Not like Montpeliers motto: Montpelier, the Newport of Central Vermont) I also dont believe Elmore paid probably more than thirty bucks for its motto.
Here, take a gander and see if you dont think one of these mottoes might not be better at getting folks to come to Burlington.
Burlington, the Burliest of the Ingtons
Burlington, its in Vermont
Burlington, its nothing like Elmore, but it used to be
Burlington, we finally got a Hooters!
Burlington, were not the coat factory
Burlington, not the one in Massachusetts
Burlington, close to Farms
Burlington, if you like the west coast, dont come here
Burlington, home of the Green Mountain Boys
Burlington, beautiful weather quite often
Burlington, look over there, its Plattsburgh
Some of those mottoes may bring folks here, some may keep folks away. All of them are accurate.
Only way Id keep Burlingtons new motto would be if San Diego promised to change its motto to: San Diego, the New England of the West Coast.