So much for my two-week streak of finishing this column early, eh? Righto, mate, I'm writing on deadline, which means you, my loyal readers, are in for a strange trip.
Yikes. That's a heck of a way to start off a column, and it could scare off potential readers who are uninterested in the rantings of some half-crazed lunatic writing from a secret location in Saranac Lake. That's right folks, I'm no longer at Denton Publications in the flesh - but I'll be damned if I'm not still there in spirit.
Frankly, I'm not yet ready to reveal my new whereabouts... just know this: I've still got my finger on the pulse of the Tri-Lakes, perhaps more so than before.
Anyway, let's move on to something of substance and move away from these weird, disjointed thoughts. How about that Winter Carnival? Some residents are tagging it as one of the best carnivals of all time. And why not? The weather was perfect, the castle was spectacular - minus a late-week thaw that ultimately had little affect on the structural integrity of the palace - and the turnout was as plentiful as anything I've seen in my lifetime.
But some older folks seem eager to quash this post-carnival bliss. There've been rumblings from people who remember the carnivals from the 1970s and early '80s who are quick to point out that those events were bigger and better.
Why would anyone feel the need to point this out? I can hear them now, talking amongst themselves like a pack of rabid Andy Rooney-impersonators...
That will teach those pirate wannabees to actually enjoy a Saranac Lake tradition. What were they thinking? How dare they compare this year's Winter Carnival success to the town's storied past?
Yes, I know, freedom of speech, everyone's entitled to one's opinion, blah, blah, blah... But in this case, when the entire community has actually come together without squabbling about politics, personal viewpoints, etc., why not let us revel in it? In other words, if you somehow feel offended that some happy carnival-goers are claiming this to be the best carnival ever, keep it to yourself.
It's a rare and sacred treat when a small community rallies around a single cause or event and people disregard personal beefs to just have a good time. If Saranac Lake were to come together in support of a person needing immediate medical attention, and funds were raised and the person pulled through, you wouldn't appreciate it if someone said, "Well, that was a good cause, but it didn't compare to when so-and-so was sick and we helped them."
I know, comparing a festival like Winter Carnival to supporting an individual in need is a bit like comparing apples to oranges - or, say, comparing Rod Blagojevich to someone with a soul. The point here is that in this time of tremendous personal and national stress, when people need any excuse to take a breather and crack a smile, why rain on our parade (no pun intended) just because you have some desire to cling to your glory days?
Okay for now, I've got to wrap this column up while I still have room to mention my arch nemesis, Matt Hobbs.
Chris Morris is a contributing writer for Denton Publications. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org