Facebook is a social networking site that's running piping hot of late. I believe it started out as a site for high school age kids, but everyday more and more old people like me are joining. I have an excuse: Facebook works well for networking my business. It's also a good tool for re-connecting and keeping in touch with folks you never liked enough to keep in touch with in the first place.
Turns out Facebook can also facilitate (for all ages) overt and awkward flirting that few have the nerve to do face-to-face. Intimate conversation is diluted when it comes over the wire, eliminating any temptation there might be to turn a conversational wink-wink session into one that could easily be described as hands-on. Personally I've talked more than a few pent up wives off the ledge using Facebook chat. You're welcome.
The other day a gal from my past found me on Facebook. A speedy perusal of her photos gave evidence that she had fared extremely well with the passing of time. Our online chat session quickly found it's way to an extensive review of a random night or two long ago when her and my ships didn't so much pass in the night, as they did just plain old, dock.
You show me a wife or husband staying up past midnight e-chatting, e-petting, or e-flirting up, in lurid detail, his or her past flings, and I'll show you a wife or husband who have misplaced the "to honor and obey" part of their wedding vows.
Another worrisome aspect of Facebook is the large prevalence of falderal style photos documenting many of our present day youth's leisure time. Young boys and girls diligently trying to solve a Rubics cube, a seventeen year-old musician balancing a pea on his or her violin in order to assure they attain perfect playing posture, or a 19-year-old college lad or lass standing by an overhead projector presenting a report on the history of giving, are all images you'll not find posted on Facebook.
Instead you're likely to see cell phone photos of ribald teens, tweens, and drama "Kings and Queens," slumped carelessly into ratty deer camp couches holding containers of booze with one hand, while the other hand flashes a wave which can include any number of fingers randomly presented.
Many of the photos you will see, to me, aspire to be, Andy Warhol-like, and though I'd say the Facebook photos are much less inspired than Andy's, I'd certainly admit many of them are at least entertaining, which is more than I can say for the photo offerings from the adult users, myself included.
My fellow adult Facebookers, I like little kids and I like pajamas and I like Christmas trees, and I like pictures of little kids wearing pajamas standing in front of Christmas trees, if the little kid is mine.
I like standing on a long, vacant stretch of an exotic beach, me feet bare, dug into dense, warm, white as snow sand. But I don't like looking at photos of you doing it.
Could I enjoy seeing a shot of your son's college graduation? Yes, a shot, not 43 of them.
Come on adults, think outside the box, like the guy did who posted shots of himself burning trash. Great shots, some of the most interesting I've seen on Facebook. I wondered if he cared that burning trash is illegal, so I checked his personal information and listed under, Interests, in-between twist tie collecting and the practice of mime, was, Burning trash. Atta boy, buddy. Atta boy.
I've crabbed and made fun of Facebook, but I like it. The majority of my work is done on a P.C., so I leave my laptop open to Facebook for long stretches of time, which has allowed me to catch up with some folks. It's been good fun.
Warning: Facebook is best used in moderation, and some people out there, especially you lonely ones who don't work, should beware of Facebook. You could become hooked, which would take time away from studying those zero-fail chopper landings for the Marine One pilot license you've always wanted to get.
Also: If you don't have a computer or you're not on Facebook, don't worry, you're not missing a thing. That is unless you really really care to know that one of my favorite quotations is, "lower the big ones by rope."
Rusty DeWees tours Vermont and Northern New York with his act "The Logger." His column appears weekly. He can be reached at email@example.com. Listen for The Logger, Rusty DeWees, Thursdays at 7:40 on the Big Station, 98.9 WOKO or visit his website at www.thelogger.com