Me: Eat. Clear table. Load dishes, glasses, utensils, and serving plates into dishwasher. Pour dust type soap into place allotted for dust type soap. Close dishwasher door, start cycle, go to bed. Get up the next morning, go downstairs, empty sparkling clean contents of dishwasher, replace contents into cabinets, go about my day.
Others: Eat. Clear table. Rinse dishes under kitchen faucet with hot water running full blast for what seems like 20 minutes. Load dishes, glasses, utensils, and serving plates into dishwasher. Pour dust type soap into place allotted for the dust type soap. Close dishwasher door, start cycle, go to bed. Get up the next morning, go downstairs, empty sparkling clean contents of dishwasher, replace contents into cabinets, go about your day.
The difference between me and others? I don't rinse before I load. Why? Well, would you hand wash your car at home before taking it to an automatic car wash? Would you mow your lawn (I mow my own lawn, but if you have lawn care people), an hour before your lawn care people come do it? I wouldn't. And I know I'm not the brightest gimlet glass in the china closet, but I spent $550 on a dishwasher and I'll be Gol danged to hang if I'm going to prewash my dishes before I load them into it.
Course that's just me. I don't know, maybe you bought the dishwasher that advertised, "New Stainless Quiet Fast DW 515 Cleans Dishes ... Just About." Reminds me of the chainsaw I bought that advertised, "Cuts Down Giant Trees ... Almost." What about the sexual performance enhancement pill that boasts, "Guaranteed To Make You Very Appreciative Of Your Partner, Beyond That, You're On Your Own."
I'm absolutely positive most of you are reading this thinking "No, no, no, you have to rinse them before you put them in the dishwasher." Well I say, no, no, no, you don't. I've checked. I always load crud filled plates and utensils in the dishwasher without rinsing them first, and they always come out perfectly dry and sparkling clean. They do, period.
So if you wash your dishes in a dishwasher, no need to rinse them before you load them, ever again, you're off the hook. Think of the time you'll save over the course of your life, some of which you can spend pondering a thought that came to me this morning as I lay in bed half awake. It's as concrete and true and solid and factual a thought as one could ever wish to have:
Apple Crisp isn't crisp.
Ahhh, now you're saying, "Oh yes it is Rusty, apple crisp is crisp."
I'm 48 years old, I've had me some apple crisp, and while eating it I've never worried about chipping a tooth, or slicing the roof of my mouth. I've never been annoyed by someone at the table crunchy-crunching themselves through a bowl of apple crisp, and I've never had a waiter describe it to me by saying, "Yes indeed sir, the chef's apple crisp will surely cure what ails the obsessive need you might have to crunch something."
Sometimes the edges are browned, sometimes it's chewy (call it congealed crisp, or chewy crisp), but I've never, ever, experienced any sign of literal crispness as it relates to apple crisp, and I don't think I'll ever accept an argument to the contrary.
Prewashing dishes before you load them? Calling a half-hearted imitation of apple pie apple crisp?
An oft-used term on construction sites is, "Think about it!"
Rusty DeWees tours Vermont and Northern New York with his act "The Logger." His column appears weekly. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Listen for The Logger, Rusty DeWees, Thursdays at 7:40 on the Big Station, 98.9 WOKO or visit his website at www.thelogger.com