I could scrawl about America's newest war, rising gas prices, Japanese suffering, sugaring, but I know you haven't been reading enough about sugaring already, mud, spring, and blah, blah. All stuff you'd expect, right? Instead, I'm going to write about something that is much less topical. How excited I am to be going to a dinner party tonight!
Why am I excited about the dinner party? Because I rarely get asked to attend them.
When I was a youngster, my parents had people over a lot. Let's say, a couple times a month. Is that a lot? I don't know. It would be a lot for me. The number of parties I've had this year to date, and adding what I'll have through the end of the year, comes to eight. That's less than one per month.
Of the eight or so parties I'll throw, the approximate total of folks attending will be somewhere at 50. If we're getting close to being a third of the way through the year, my invite total at the end of 2011 will stand at three. That leaves 47 folks who attended one of my parties who aren't hitting me back with a return invite.
Eight parties might not be much entertaining, but gauging myself against my close friends, I'm a regular Martha, rather, Marty Stewart.
It's hard to know if there are lots of dinner parties going on and I'm just not being invited, or if it's just that there aren't many dinner parties being held.
It's said that if you want to get a letter, you have to send a letter. I agree. But jeez, the percentage of return invites, to invites, is paltry in my case. That's why I'm excited about tonight.
I'm also excited 'cause the husband of the couple's house I'm invited to is reportedly a great cook. And when I'm lucky enough to be invited to a dinner, I take it very seriously. I had a tiny lunch, I didn't have breakfast, and will walk with extra vigor later to make sure I'm extra hungry.
I'm a good guest. You have me over and keep asking, "Would you like some more?" I'll answer, "Why yes, thank you."
Maybe I just stumbled upon the reason I don't get invited often. Nah, generally we Americans lean toward over doing, and in the case of eating a meal made with great care at your house, I'll oblige to over do.
Am I cheap and trying to be a mooch? Nope. I'm just wanting to make sure you know I'm very happy to be a guest. If you need help cleaning up, I'll help, if you ask. I'm not going to offer. That's just a joke, I'll offer, I was brought up well. But I assume you want me to sit around, relax, and chat, the same as I'd want you to do at a party of mine. So I've little fear my offer to help will be accepted anyway.
Odd topic for a column, but last night I was thinking about the imbalance of my personal statistics on party throwing, to invites, and wondered if in-home social get togethers are things of the past. I came to the conclusion that I can't conclude, because who knows if there aren't many parties, or if I'm just not getting invited.
Oh, well, not sure it matters either way. Actually, I'm sure it doesn't matter if the answer is I'm just not getting invited, because when I want to be around folks chatting and eating, I have my own party.
But I'd think if the answer is there are less dinner parties being thrown, it's an unfortunate trend.
Why is it an unfortunate trend, and what are the reasons there may be fewer dinner parties being thrown? The answers to those questions would make up two or three more columns, and I'm not to overly worried about any of it, so I'll leave it at that.
I'm excited to be going to a dinner party tonight. I'm going to arrive hungry, and relax, and I'm going to have fun. And, I'm bringing the hosts a sweet little candle and glass holder, which have both been wrapped carefully in tissue and placed in a sturdy green box with a bow. See what you're not getting, not inviting me to your dinner party?